theBEDyouMADE

(either:"so, you've arrived...","so, you have came...","did you willingly come here?","don't do anything until you wash your hands...","oh no.. not another one..","you can close this while you still can..") [[ware is da chikit dugets?]] [[wat is dis?]]

the chicken nuggets are gone and so is your soul the only way you can eat chicken nuggets is if you work for it [[ok]] [[i wan pizza instead tho]]

we all question life, but now is not the time [[ok]]

first you must learn how to make bbq sauce [[y?]] [[but wat about da chikit dugets?]]

so pizza is what you really came for? [[cheese pizza]] [[garbage pizza]]

BBQ SAUCE IS THE ONLY SAUCE THAT MATTERS [[ok]] [[but wat about da chikit dugets?]]

THE CHICKEN NUGGETS ARE NOT CHICKEN NUGGETS WITHOUT BBQ SAUCE [[make bbq sauce]]

you are forced into making bbq sauce do you happily make the [[bbq sauce]] or do you rebel and try to use [[another sauce]] [[i thot i feeld cheets onto crust]]

you happily make bbq sauce but in order to make chicken nuggets we are going to need meat [[cut your hand off]] [[...wat?]]

which of these sauces do you use? [[ranch]] [[ketchup]] [[honey mustard]] [[buffalo]] [[mild taco sauce]] [[chocolate syrup]] [[cheese sauce]] [[cocktail sauce]] [[bacon grease]]

you played it safe and playing it safe means you've never lived a life before do you even lift? do you even fart? do you even know what it's like to feel heart ache? [[y did dis happit]] [[another sauce]]

nobody does this, pick [[another sauce]]

so what is it about honey mustard that you like? is it the [[honey]]? is it the [[mustard]]?

you don't have to do this to yourself you know you can still make it out alive buffalo sauce is made with actual fire so what's it going to be? [[suicide]] [[another sauce]]

is that what this is about? poop jokes? pick [[another sauce]] you jerk

don't you think chocolate syrup would go better on [[cheese pizza]] ?

if you smothered a chicken nugget in cheese sauce you would make everything else in the world jealous. how do you attempt to fix that situation? [[eat all da cheese until no more cheese]] [[put a disease in da cheese until every1 ded]]

shrimp. you pick a sauce for shrimp. you deserve to [[swallow lava]]

what?> we dont use sports drink as a sauce [[lose a hand]]

it's not a matter of why, but it's a matter of what you can do now [[never eat chikit dugets ever again]] [[lose a hand]]

you never eat chicken nuggets ever again and thus you will slowly starve to death chicken nuggets are the only thing to eat here you really didn't do much here at all but this was expected.

we can finally make chicken nuggets [[use bits of your hand to make]]

if you're just gonna eat pizza with cheese on it you may as well be eating chicken nuggets, kid [[ok]] [[you don't know me]]

HELLO, YOU'VE CAME TO THE RIGHT PLACE ENJOY PIZZA ANYWAY YOU LIKE FIRST, SELECT YOUR TOPPINGS [[garbage]] [[jabronis]] [[swedish fish]] [[pineapple]] [[peanut butter]] [[the works]]

you don't know where you are either the only way you can proceed further is if you close your eyes [[close your eyes]] [[no thanks]]

we are just going to pretend you didn't decide on cheese pizza [[learn to make better choices]]

a breast from the anetelope come play and give you a VENEREAL DISEASE which of these do you accept into your body figure? [[enjoy syphillis]] [[enjoy aids]] [[enjoy gone a reha]]

so is garbage all you really want? [[garbage it is]] [[more toppings please]]

sorry, we are fresh out of jabronis but we do have beef jerky [[add beef jerky instead]] [[lemme see them toppings again]]

swedish fish is a baller only topping do you [[get money]]?

pineapple is acceptable and honest pineapple will never hurt you pineapple will never let you down you can eat it as a fruit you can eat it on a pizza you can eat it in cottage cheese you can also kiss pineapple when you love pineapple, it also loves back [[order pineapple pizza]]

YOU ARE NOT GOING TO WASTE ANY BUTTER. PEANUT FLAVORED OR NOT. [[enjoy jar of peanut butter]]

are you ready to dedicate your entire life to make the best pizza? [[ignore everything like fk dis im out]] [[dedicate your life to this pizza]]

hours after finishing your pizza you start to realize eating rotten dumpster belongings wasn't so healthy or wise your stomach is about to reject everything you consumed [[ignore the stomach pains]] [[attempt to vomit]]

no, because by the time you're done putting toppings you'll have peanut butter and pineapple YOU NEVER DO THAT TO A PIZZA only pineapple is allowed. [[pineapple]]

this isn't about being tough this is your life but now you've made this awkward and have to face the consequences [[take a poop at your friends house and clog the toilet]] [[go to sleep tonight and wake up in a pile of your own poop]]

many people reach this point have you considered weighing the pros and cons of life? [[i never even think]] [[i weigh them alot]]

and you never even do anything you just live to smell things that suck [[smell rotten eggs]] [[smell unclean butthole]]

its because of the voices in your head [[give into the voices]] [[fight them again]]

the voices never stop you must do what they say always [[swallow lava]] [[kill neighbor's dog]] [[give yourself aids]] [[inject dank memes]]

the uphill battle begins [[bash head into wall]] [[drink alcohol]]

as you sniffed and sniffed the more you smelt eggs, the stronger you became the stronger you became, the more you needed to feed [[get completely egg consumed]] [[help your habit]]

while you were smelling an unclean butthole you started to feel different magical particles flew into your nose and begun to change the chemical balance in your brain you sniffed many buttholes in your life as this is what you made a living of, but this one was different you now have aids [[get aids]]

after enjoying the chicken nuggets you were able to make from pieces of your missing hand, you've started to realize what kind of place you are in [[feel great]] [[pee in your pants]]

you feel great you win nothing [[not satisfied?]]

after some hours past, the pee has dried it starts producing an odor that attracts wild animals [[let animals approach you]] [[take your pants off]]

you realize cutting your hand off is the only way to make a good chicken nugget but you also see that you've lost alot of blood and blood can make some good sauce we know that we need bbq sauce but are you interested in making another sauce? [[another sauce]] [[just cook da nuggets]]

meat. we need meat. [[lose a hand]] [[pour vinegar in your eyes]]

you've gained super powers [[use em for good]] [[use em for nuggets]]

what is good? [[healing people with farts]] [[stealing people's farts to inhale for your own good]]

did you even pick a sauce? it's either bbq or nothing [[bbq sauce]]

you spent your entire life locking people into your basement you had them in huge animal cages and forced them to smell your farts through the bars you said it was good for them but they never believed you [[live with bitterness]]

you've spent a life inhaling many farts old people farts young children farts teenage farts ripe woman farts [[celebrate]] [[learn to make better choices]]

you've reached the peak of life congrats [[not satisfied?]]

humans never are [[do drugs]] [[suicide]] [[get money]]

COLOR ME SMUTHERS WE ARE NOT IMPRESSED everyday you are injecting this many drugs into your head [[1 drug]] [[2 drug]] [[4 drug]] [[more]]

you're cool but you could have done it better, right? [[learn to make better choices]] [[suicide harder]]

how exactly do you get money? [[fix toilets]] [[beat monkeys]] [[professional eater]] these are all baller options

you've finally proven that you were a total bad ass you've managed suicide in the most hardcore way (atleast that's what you think) but how did you really do it? [[isolated yourself in an empty room and stared at the corner until you starved to death]] [[sewed your butt shut with cement and constantly fed yourself pizza until your stomach exploded with pepperonis and cheese]]

you've reached ultimate bad ass status nobody can touch you have a slice of pizza [[celebrate]]

your family and friends remembered you for all the cool things you did especially the way you died [[high five]]

life aint nothin but pepperonis n cheese

a giant rat notices you [[try to hide]] [[gain it's trust]]

as soon as you take your pants off you feel a bitter coldness snow starts falling from the sky HEAVY, and THICK, the snow covers your entire body instantly [[freeze to death]] [[roll on the ground to turn yourself into a giant snowball]]

your frozen solid body was recovered you end up in a lab where dinosaurs study the way you lived they make clones of you and decide to make a theme park where wild humans can exist it's too bad they never brought you back to life though and they never even sold 1 slice of pizza at their theme park

you roll into a giant snowball and roll down a moutain you end up destorying a small city and shortly afterwards your deathball of snow breaks apart and you end up all by your loneself immediately as you stand up, your bowels release what seems to be the most feces your body has ever let loose you drop to your knees... [[pray]] [[scream curse words]]

you ran so fast, you tripped and snapped your neck shortly after killing yourself, the rat feasted upon your fresh dead body not even 1 slice of pizza was ate on this day

you exposed your naked body to the rat, whose size was as big as a school bus this did nothing. the rat proceeded to sink its teeth straight through your flesh and tenderlions until you died from bacteria and blood loss and not even 1 slice of pizza was ate today not 1 single pepperoni

you were given another chance at life you were able to stand back up and continue on living but perhaps you should learn to make better decisions this time? [[learn to make better choices]] [[im good]]

you scream every word in the book as loud as possible the bad part is, you lost your voice just before you dropped dead you weren't even given the chance for your final words to come out everybody will always know you as the person who pooped themself and screamed FUUUUUUAAAAHHHHHHH..... and not even 1 slice of pizza was ate

but are you really? [[give into the voices]]

you ded but atleast you did something cool tho

how do you plan to kill the dog? [[with kindness]] [[straight murk]] [[straight savage]] [[chew bubblegum]]

you were invited to a pizza party and after rejecting a slice of pizza with pepperoni on it, you came down with a hard case of the aids [[enjoy aids]]

you spent your life injecting dank memes you injected them straight into your blood stream you became a meme you are meme meme are us [[learn to make better choices]]

and not even 1 slice of pizza was ate, ever aids has consumed your entire body now the only thing left in your life is to use the power of aids you transform into the mighty aids and feel the power surge through your body the time is now...

you've made the best choice that you can in this game you actually win [[celebrate]]

this isn't the time to mess around you either get aids or you get pizza it's one or the other now since you messed around, you don't even get to select your toppings [[get pizza]] [[get aids]]

you recieve a burnt pizza with no cheese and no pepperoni just crust and it's burnt it's not even pizza [[learn to make better choices]]

you live and you learn, then you get aids [[enjoy aids]] [[can i learn more things tho]]

it looked really cool and awesome when you did it but ultimately, you only suffered from bleeding a tiny bit the wall barely budged and nobody was around to see it [[one more bash?]] [[its not gonna work]]

you drink so much that you've gained a tolerance [[drink until you die]] [[convince others to get drunk with you]]

you wanted to kill yourself you would have done it too but you just needed 1 more bottle of whisky but there was not even 1 bottle of anything and not even 1 slice of pizza either [[live with bitterness]] [[live with emptiness]]

you convinced a member of the opposite sex to get drunk with you [[start a family]] [[wake up next day in regret]]

you lived long enough to see yourself become to villian and not even 1 person enjoy'd you [[give yourself aids]]

as empty as you feel, you always hear the voices [[give into the voices]] [[fight them again]]

this time when your head hit the wall you made a really cool dent in your skull it's like the coolest thing you ever did [[live with emptiness]]

you sit down indian style and begin to talk to the voices you have a conversation [[feel great]] [[conversation never helps]]

you take peanut butter and slather it into your eyes [[give into the voices]] [[feel great]]

drinking is the key to having a happy family [[drink 12 pack]] [[beat lover]]

you're not dead yet and you spent last night with a bad decision [[learn to make better choices]]

you swallowed whole an entire 12 pack of beer your entire stomach is nothing but liquid you decide to fill it with something else [[eat ramen]] [[eat cardboard]]

your face is flushed but your rage is satisfied you can now force your lover to drink with you [[tonight is the night for love]] [[tonight is the night for alcohol poisoning]]

the ramen noodles are cooking, the toilet is being flushed the house has no heat, the mood is set. now it's up to you to make the right decision. [[have a pregnancy]] [[eat ramen]]

eating ramen instantly made you buff you can literally crush a car with your bear hands [[use bear hands for things]] [[make this worth it]]

tuys atint done

this aint done

as you crunch down onto the piece of cardboard you notice something wrong this is actually pizza [[feel great]] [[feel disapoint because you wanted cardboard]]

y? [[learn to not be dumb]]

you ended up here because you hate life only the worst people end up here [[inject dank memes]] [[do drugs]] [[suicide]]

you have become completely obsessed with eggs you are now the strongest chicken therefore, you can now make the ultimate chicken nugget but no chicken nugget is a chicken nugget without sauce are you going to do it? [[bbq sauce]] [[i wan pizza instead tho]]

it doesnt seem like anything is going to help you're really feeling defeated [[drink alcohol]] [[give into the voices]]

you don't even know what kindness is until you eat a burp that was supposed to be a fart but it came out the wrong end but once you do that, that dog is ded [[celebrate]]

THE WATER IS TOO MURKY IN HERE AND I THINK THERE'S MACARONIS IN DA WATER and da only time macaronis are in da water is when there's gonna be a dead dog straight murking is the only way to do it. knock on the door and punt it into the face just be sure to [[make this worth it]]

you take a shotgun and blow it to bits don't you even think about eating pizza after this you're done. there's not enough savage to be savage in here RANDY SAVAGE TOOK IT ALL

you began to chew bubble gum you chewed so much bubble gum that the bubble gum making factorys started to panic every bubble gum factory was frantic and sent out orders to find and kill you when they found you, you explained that the only reason you wanted to chew bubble gum was so that your neighbors dog would die this changed everything ded dog is a ded dog and the bubble game tasted like raw pork

there's nothing like raw nuggets but are you brave enough? [[eat nuggets raw]] [[cook nuggets]] [[just eat sauce]]

after eating the nuggets raw, you decide you need something else with it [[another sauce]] [[i wan pizza instead tho]]

you attempt to cook nuggets but burn your entire house to the ground your whole family dies in a fire and you are left with nothing but sauce and nobody ate even 1 slice of pizza, ever

not even bbq sauce can quench this desire this sauce is not a chicken nugget [[learn to not be dumb]]

so you are the chicken nugget mustard? you must have super powers.. do you [[use em for good]]? or can you prove it by having to [[swallow lava]]?

honey has a problem being with a chicken chicken have no problem being honey tho is it because they are [[soft]]?

which item here is more soft? [[spagetti noodle]] [[feather]] [[rock]]

the spagetti noodle is only soft with honey on it pick [[another sauce]]

u pickd feather over a noodle n rock? r u dum? [[learn to not be dumb]]

a rock is only soft with bacon grease on it [[lose a hand]]

you seriously ate all da cheese and now you are blocked [[unclog yourself with exlax?]] [[y did dis happit]]

this calls for a celebration! [[celebrate]]

before you do that, we must place chicken nuggets into the toilet [[nuggets in the toilet]] [[but y?]]

NOW WE ARE READY TO BLAST THOSE NUGGETS WITH THAT CHEESE do we even know what kind of cheese it is? [[spicey cheese sauce?]] [[creamy cheese sauce?]] [[sweet cheese sauce?]]

there's more to life than some nuggets in the toilet you wanted cheese, this is what cheese does it puts nuggets in the toilet and everyones in a bad mood now there's no way to redeem yourself now you ask too many questions, maybe it's the voices [[give into the voices]]

we're not having any meatballs tho you came to the wrong party.. this surely aint the place to get drunk at either but it sounds like you really need to [[drink alcohol]]

sounds gud but [[i wan pizza instead tho]]

you're doing this all completely wrong [[learn to not be dumb]]

as you bite into your wonderful pizza with pineapple on it you notice it is missing other toppings that SHOULD be there [[ham]] [[bacon]] [[banana pepper rings]] [[onions]]

i think you coulda added a better one but meat is meat but it's not a chicken nugget and ham certain isn't pineapple but im pretty sure you should still [[lose a hand]]

you've got it you're clearly winning this game you ate a pineapple and bacon pizza and enjoyed life to the fullest [[not satisfied?]]

GREAT now we have banana and pineapple on our pizza we can now [[celebrate]]

onions... more like OH YEAH INS an onion never not goes on pizza even mixed with pineapple onionapples are the future [[feel great]] for trying to make this a thing

how do you enjoy this? [[give it to people]] [[dont give it to anyone but never treat it]]

all of the reha has turned into diareha [[eat diareha]] [[spread diareha onto bread]] [[diareha sunglasses]]

the diareha you ate was actually just beef stew if you continue to eat it until it's gone you will feel sleep though [[feel sleep]] [[dont feel sleep]]

you take diareha and spread it onto your favorite loaf of bread you use a butter knife and spread the diareha onto the entire loaf once you are done, you sit and stare at it [[continue to stare]]

with corndogs as the base of the frames you strut your new diareha sunglasses this will surely make people jealous and afriad how do you plan to deal with this? [[do nothing]] [[tell us your dirty secret]]

this aint done

you felt all the sleep you could handle how many sheep had to sacrifice their life for your feelings? [[1 sheep]] [[2,000 sheep]]

nothing was felt nobody feeled and everyone went home sad THANKS ALOT

you only killed one sheep in your feelings sleep was not only required but you also let sheep take over population sheep are killing humans as we know it sheep have guns and none of them know how to use them [[ok]]

2,000 sheep is just one thousand nine hundred and ninty nine sheep too many didn't you even think this through? [[learn to make better choices]]

if you had vast knowledge of any of these, which would it be? [[how to calculate twerk]] [[how to dig for jello]]

BUTT + SHAKE + BUTT + SHAKE BUTT + FAT = BOOTY IS TO x AS BUTT IS TO x [[explain pls]] [[i know da answer]]

digging for jello is no easy task first you must find a dig site and have 1 reliable person in your life lettuce pretend you dont have any friends or know anybody reliable because everyone hates you you just won't be cut out for jello digging [[sorry but not sorry]]

you sit and wonder about jello digging and how much excitement it could have brought you could have digged for a vast ammount of flavors but which one of these really meant something to you? [[cherry]] [[orange]] [[lime]] [[blue kind]] [[licorice]] [[watermelon]]

THIS IS WARE WE SING A SONG WE SING A SONG CUZ YOU DYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYING [[YUS]]

wat [[mayb i need a higher power level]]

the answer you are looking for is in the underwear where the under wear is can have no business in here [[do squats to grow your butt]] [[spend your life trapped in underwear]]

the thicker n fatter your booty grows the better your life becomes no underwear can ever be worn now, unless you want to rip it nobody can even squeeze your butt either, unless they want to break their hand bones its just you and your butt now, forever destined but did you even eat a slice of pizza at all? [[eat pizza]] [[no thanks]]

[[i didnt even wanna do this]]

the pizza has been sliced and its ready to be ate [[grab slice]] [[grab whole pizza]]

being a level 1 noob really does suc but if only you could raise it to atleast 5 [[raise to level 5]] [[stay noob]]

you only live once and you only took 1 slice of pizza? [[learn to make better choices]]

it is really a shame that someone sliced the pizza you know, the one that you were gonna eat all of anyway now you have all these inconvenient slices that were a wasted effort in sharing [[find the slicer]] [[slice your throat]]

there was never a slicer to be found maybe it was you the whole time??? at any rate, mayube its time to ketchup on your burger skills [[eat a burger]]

please your life is too precious i love you, don't do this [[ok]] [[gonna do it]]

nobody and no body and NONE OF THESE BODIES ARE MATCHING now pick before we lose patience [[lose your left ear]] [[lose your right ear]]

now u can tell everybody u lost your left ear cuz you picked lime n nobody will ever no how much dat sux cept for u

obviously we're going to be making a thumb wrestler glove out of your ear pieces but rest assured we will do it with proper care bbq sauce will be plenty and you will have a constant supply of it enjoy only hearing the left side of things and not the right [[learn to make better choices]]

your mind plays illusions with you except this illusion is too good not to be true have a [[garbage pizza]]

you wanna go retard?

you wanna go hard retard?

YOU WANNA GO FULL RETARD? all we need to do is make a cake [[make cake]]

dont you wish you could be drinking the blood of a thousand warriors right now? dont you wish you could be farting inside of a balloon? dont you wish you could be eating that same balloon after 20 years passed? [[lets do it]] [[i am the void]]

I THINK SOMETHING IS HAPPENING MAN [[wat is happit]] [[pls can i do something else???]]

dont you know that drugs have feelings too but no, you just wanted to consume them all in one single shot maybe you'd be better off shooting a gun [[shoot a gun]]

there's only so much you can do in life [[grow fat and laugh]] [[laugh until you fat]]

you spent all your time on the internet trying to find every last funny it's all fun and games until you get as fat as a whale you were arrested and thrown into the sea where you belong now you and the rest of the whales compete to see who is fatter will you ever quench this thirst for fatness? will you ever satisfy your hunger for juicy lush thighs? [[i am a whale]] [[my whale friends accept me]]

now we must remove your clothes. [[remove clothes]]

the butter of peanut does not accept your body you are filthy and unclean [[time for a shower]]

WHEN YOU SHOWER THINK ABOUT WHAT YOU HAVE DONE. FOR YOU HAVE UPSET PEANUTS AND BUTTER. THIS WILL NEVER BE FORGIVEN. NEVER. [[turn water heat to max]]

THINK ABOUT ALL THE BUTTER THAT COULD BE MELTING RIGHT NOW BUT HERE WE ARE.... SKIN MELTING AGAINST HOT SCALDING WATER. ONCE ALL OF YOUR SKIN IS OFF, WE CAN CONTINUE. [[.....]]

ARE YOU FORGETTING SOMETHING? [[i just wanted to make pizza...]]

oh ok [[continue making pizza]]

to make pizza with no skin is to skin a pizza of it's cheese do you really want to do this? [[i guess]] [[no, absolutely not]]

then you were never really cut out for this in the first place pizza is life bra and life doesn't quit on you until you get diabeatus then once that happens you just use diabeatus as a pizza topping word lyfe

then why did you ever decide on peanut butter? we werent making peanut butter and jellies. it was about that phat crust on dat greazy pepperoni on dat creamy cheets on dat spicey saws n u wanted peanut butter n jellies? [[ya so]] [[ye]]

ya so now we are sitting here looking at da corner of da room with your gai blood pieces everywhere don't you feel gai [[mayb a lil]]

ye as in YEHURD? you aint gonna heard nothing axe-cept for an EXPLOSION [[ware tho?]]

gr8 2 c that u admit it c wat happits when you pick peanut butter as a pizza topping? you come outta the closet brah straight out of da walk in closet n you walked str8 out cuz u turnt gai n we all knew it once u bled

when i pull out a fortune; this is what it tells me [[drink human spit]] [[drink human spit]] [[drink human spit]] [[drink human spit]] [[drink human spit]]

after taking a gulp of your own saliva you read your fortune that tells you how to live a better life [[learn to make better choices]]

[[click here if you're a man]] [[click here if you're a female]] [[click here if you just don't even know]]

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you end up pregnant the mother left you you have a super suck time and nothing ever goes your way you are deaf in only 1 ear (you get to pick tho, with your imagination only tho cuz we aint giving you da option) you have hair growing out of your right eyeball and everytime you blink it grows a slight bit more choose the last curse for your ignorance: [[cant never die]] [[already dead but cant do it again]]

EVERY ACTION IS PINK FOR A REASON [[find out why]]

(either:"im dinosaur","im eyeball","im diaper","im diapers","im beer","im subhuman","im beef juice","im high","im drugged and osum","im not even","im meme","im bananas","im str8 bananas","im OP","i smell","i grape","i weewee","im supur","i smell like a mum","i smell like a frog","i wanted to die here","please end this","do not enter any further","lets roc","your mums watching you do this","im wet noodle","i smell like watermelon flavored poop","i smell like i have diabetus") [[click here if you just don't even know]] [[this is dum]]

this is entirely your fault. [[learn to make better choices]]

are you a girl who likes pink? [[yus pink]] [[hellz nuah]]

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how black do we go? WE MUST HATE PINK HARDER. [[completely F pink]] [[COMPLETE SABATODGE]]

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you take the nearest papperoni stick and jam it into your eyes this gets you SUPER pist and now you're ready for COMPLETE SABATODGE [[complete sabatodge now!!!!!]]

FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF apples never kept this doctor away DOCTOR SABATODGE!!!!!!!! pls halp we have no legs no arms and not even 1 slice of pizza [[feed on imaginary pizza]]

after all the sabatodges and pain you lie naked and look at the pitch black sky if only your life was more about love and not hating this would have been completely different but i guess thats wat happits to emos [[die lonely n sad like emo does]] [[snap into a slim jim]]

all around you are fat miller faces worn out places if you are ready to die as emo and are positively excited about nothing then you're going to have to learn [[how to calculate twerk]]

THE SPICE IS FLOWING THROUGH YOUR BODY YOU'VE NEVER FELT A SENSATION LIKE THIS BEFORE IN YOUR ENTIRE LIFE [[enjoy the spice life]]

u da 1 makin choice n now u wanna play gayms like dis? [[consider being cooler]]

do you know wat it means to be cool? of course, it includes: [[spitting hot fire]] [[spitting on hot fire]] [[hot fire spitting on me]]

you proceed to swallow a whole butt full of cinnomin the cinnomin burns and you start to choke you must choke before you can do anything [[choke until your eyes water]]

you tried spitting on fire that was so hot but ultimately ended up just vomitting because the task at hand was too great and tremendous for such a weak babi like yourself [[there's nothing else here for you to be excited about]]

THIS IS THE GREATEST FEELING IN THE WORLD but only if we were actually spitting hot fire there's so many better ways to melt your skin off if you think about it, that's what we're all just tryin to do ya know live n melt the skin [[make a melted skin fortress]]

you built your skin fortress and sat upon it for exactly 5 minutes and 37 seconds. now lets go get some ice cream. this game is over it's not about pizza, nuggets or anything else straight cream and ice

you truly failed you didn't even freestyle but if you are going to freestyle after this it must be started with 'i'm a pig that can't squeel' do it for da pepperonis

NOW ITS FIRE TIME BABY your mouth opens as wide as it can and tiny warriors fly out of your mouth you unleash a shockwave of destruction upon any weak soul who tries to front this is your super power and your power alone but in order to maintain this, you must only ever eat provolone cheese with great power comes great cheese

in order to get higher level, you must train if you train, you must down gallons of mustard until you are the master if this isn't ideal for you, then you may as well give up now [[guzzle the mustard]] [[i didnt even wanna do this]]

you spent the whole rest of your life eating cheerios with no sugar and getting plump in your elbows eventually you couldnt even lift your elbows to eat anymore cereal and you instantly died on the 200,381,381th day it might have been on the 10th hour of the day too, but nobody really cared

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if you are serious about this.. then you may as well do it right [[use a giant knife]] [[use a fork]] [[use a spoon]] [[use floss]]

the knife you used was so giant you didnt even have time to procrastinate your head came clean off and spinned off around on the ground there was blood everywhere so much blood you literally couldnt even see your feet anymore from the viewpoint of your head the last thing you seen in this world was your torso do the macarena before it hit the floor and now you will forever wonder if you were gai in the afterlife

YOU JAMMED A FORK STRAIGHT TO THE THROAT and tootsie rolls popped out you finally realize why everyone hit you in life you lived this whole life without even knowing you simply were a pinyata its too bad snickers didn't pop out tho

you were seriously gonna kill yourself with a spoon but instead you thought eating chilli was a better decision [[celebrate]] for making great choices

you pull out atleast a foot of floss and press it firmly against your throat then slowly slide it back from left to right firmly across your throat you can feel a slight burning sensation at this point you start to think about all of the loved ones in your family you then start to picture them naked you then start to picture all of the people you love laughing at you as your skin starts to crack open from the floss finally making the incision you have been working so hard to make in your last moments you thought about your mum taking a poop on your chest in the bathroom floor with blood seeping from your throat

we made a cake with flower and sugart now we just need yogurt and spagetti spagetti makes da best icing [[kiss fat babies to make spagetti]] [[smoke bacon just because]]

after kissing the 20th fat babi in your life we can finally boil spagetti but do we really wanna do that when we can just use spagettios? [[use real spagetti for cake]] [[use spagettios]]

(either:"the bite you take fills your mouth full of beef juice","the bite you take makes you realize how raw and uncooked this beef is","the bite you take assults your throat with immense creamy beef juice, so much so that you can't breathe from your throat anymore","the bite you take flashes the entire internet and memes through your head, if you don't take another bite you might not live to see another day") [[take another bite|eat a burger]] [[put the burger down]]

you shoot a gun into the sky and as soon as it goes into the sky your face starts to turn into pumperknickle bread HURRY, MAKE A QUICK CHOICE: [[set your face on fire]] [[butter your bread]]

YOU SET YOUR FAAAAAAAAAAAAACE ON FIIIIYAAAAHH alright, but if you set your face on fire what does your eyeballs do in this moment of time? [[sieze everything]] [[go hard]]

if the only thing you're going to do is sit there and butter your bread, then forget about us ever having a realationship its over and you can take the cats, i never wanted them in the first place

you neber siezed anything but juice from the neck part now its time for you to really step your game up and TAKE IT ALL FOR YOURSELF [[close your eyes and fart as hard as you can]] [[open your eyes as far n wide as you can]]

how hard can you go when you're already at rock BOTTOM lets ask the rock.... nevermind? [[ok]]

you have reached puberty [[celebrate]]

as soon as your body reached its limits with as much eye muscle stretching possible you hear a loud audible POP coming from your butt you popped your tailbone out of place and now you are in immense pain this is what happens when you stretch things that were never meant to be stretched, especially your eyeballs you sick demented soul

(either:"nothing happened yet","nothing happened yet","nothing happened yet","nothing happened yet","nothing happened yet","[[the bread has grown moist!]]","[[the bread has grown moldy!]]") [[continue to stare]]

[[continue to stare at moist bread]]

how long can a bread stay moist? [[lets find out]]

diareha has kept many things moist for many years the diareha surely won't fail us on bread [[continue to stare]]

the diareha we used has failed us but that's ok this time we can use something else on the bread [[vasoline]] [[grape juice]]

surely vasoline will increase moist meters onto this bread [[spread vasoline onto entire loaf]]

to fully moist this bread, we must sink the entire loaf into a bowl of grape juice (either:"[[i don't have a bowl]]","[[a bowl rite here]]")

you spread the entire jar of vasoline onto the bread and realize it wasnt such a great idea your hands are covered in vasoline and nobody likes vasoline on the hand [[cover everything you see in vasoline]] [[try to lick all the vasoline off your hands]]

if we don't have a bowl then how do we even eat cereal? you never even buyd a cereal bowl? not even 1 fruity pebble was ate? [[learn to not be dumb]]

you proceed to pour grape juice into a giant bowl as soon as you drop the loaf of bread into the grape juice bowl the bread gets pist and grows hands "I AM MOIST!!" he screams at the top of his lungs you are confused but you also see the fear and pain in his eyes [[carefully caress the bread]]

nobody even thought, or knew that if we dipped the bread into the grape juice, he would have had an allergic reaction and died we did all this in vain, and never even thought about the breads feelings we didn't even think about 1 single crumb we could have made generic pizza with the bread tho, he would have been fine with that bread does it for the pepperonis, what a gud guy [[feel great]]

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you proceed to wipe your vasohands onto everything the nuggets the pizza the jello the pillow you lay your head into and nothing was ever changed, you just stared at all the greasey vasoline items for the rest of your life and nobody said 1 word to you because of it

the vasoline was actually just chilled bacon grease you've gained experience through this now you're able to fight the boss [[end game boss]]

(either:"the boss has 1 disease","the boss grows angry","the boss reveals his body","the boss has 1 bacteria") (either:"[[run]]","[[wait for it...|end game boss]]","[[wait for it...|end game boss]]","[[wait for it...|end game boss]]","[[wait for it...|end game boss]]")

the boss breaks 1 of your legs as you try to escape the boss feeds off legs the boss continues to run towards you as you stumble away [[fake death]] [[continue to stumble]]

the boss saw through your clever tricks he simply bent your knee cap inwards and snapped your whole leg off you get to enjoy watching him devour your leg until nothing is left it kind of sucks losing a leg like this but maybe this would have played out differently if you actually brought a weapon too bad that's not an option tho

you finally break your leg by yourself as you trip on a fruity pebble this is the time to make or break [[show your true self]] [[lay here n die]]

you reach for your inner self and all of a sudden you turn into a can of beer the boss is completely uninterested because in his past life he ruined everything in a downward spiral of alcoholism and drug use [[celebrate]] your victory!

wuss that's all you can do is wuss bag it up just go home, you're not even drunk, you're just stupid and wuss never come here again

your life is just as empty as your decisions no burger, no nothing [[live with emptiness]]

[[do nothing]]

the world is waiting to find out TELL US NOW. <textarea></textarea> [[submit to the world]]

everybody knows now and your life will never be the same this is the bed you made.